May 17, 2000

Katuwaan (jokes)

The Penis requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons.

1. Has to work hard.
2. Has to work at great depths.
3. Has to work upside down.
4. Has no ventilation or air conditioned work environment.
5. Has to work in a high humidity environment.
6. Has to work at high temperatures.
7. Does not get weekends and holidays off.
8. Does not get time off after extra hours of work.
9. Has a hazardous work environment that often causes illness.

Management Reply.

Request denied for the following reasons.
1. Does not work 8 hours straight during any work period.
2. Does not answer immediately to all requests.
3. Co-workers often unsatisfied by job performance.
4. After a short activity period, falls asleep.
5. Shows no evidence of fidelity at the workplace.
6. Works better alone than with others.
7. Does not work at all unless pushed from behind.
8. Does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work.
9. Sometimes leaves work too early.

Practice Safe Fax


Q. Do I have to be married to have safe fax?

A. Although married people fax often, there are many single people who fax complete strangers every day.



Q. How do I go about faxing a complete stranger?

A. Just ask them if they want to fax. If they do, they will give you their phone number.



Q. My parents say they never had fax when they were young, and were only allowed to write memo's to each other until they were 21. How old do you think someone should be before they can fax?

A. Faxing can be performed at any age once you learn the correct procedure.



Q. If I fax something to myself will I go blind?

A. Certainly not. As far as we can see.



Q. There is a place on our street where you can go and pay to fax. Is this legal?

A. Yes, many people have no other outlet for their fax drives and must pay a "professional" when their needs become too great.



Q. Should a cover always be used for faxing?

A. Unless you are really sure of the one you are faxing, a cover should always be used.



Q. What happens if I do the procedure incorrectly and fax prematurely?

A. Don't panic. Many people fax prematurely when they haven't faxed in a long time. Just start over, most people won't mind if you try again.



Q. I have a personal and a business fax. Can transmissions become mixed up?

A. Being bi-faxual can be confusing, but so long as you use a cover with each one you won't transmit anything you're not supposed to.



Q. Is getting faxed by one person the same as with another?

A. No. Even though many people (especially lawyers) would like you to believe that the longer they are faxing you the better you will like it. In reality the best fax is short, of high quality, and very graphic.



Q. There is a man I'd very much like to fax (I've tried several times) but he can't seem to keep his equipment up long enough. Is there any thing I can do to help him?

A. You could suggest that he contact a good fax therapist, such as Canon or Mitsubishi. If he refuses to take the suggestion, it would be best if you just wrote him off.