| Kuro-kuro Ko Lamang |
by: Rtn. Chuck Montecillo
Being a single guy, I have always been curious about marriage. I
mean, I have always been around married people. My relatives, like my parents, my aunts
and uncles, brothers and sisters. Now that I'm older, even my contemporaries are hitched.
With all the couples that I deal with on a daily basis, I couldn't help but think about
it.
I have had many relationships with women. It's really tough keeping a relationship alive.
The most trivial thing can ruin an otherwise happy couple. Yet, other times, even the most
serious of blunders are forgiven and the relationship blossoms. I could never really
figure that out. My share of failed relationships had gotten me to wonder about what it
takes to make one last. I needed to know, otherwise, I would never be married.
The first question that needed to be answered was, "How do I find the right
woman?" You meet someone you like (at least how they look, at first), then you try to
get to know them by going on dates. If things seem promising, a relationship blooms.
Sometimes, things fall apart quickly, saving both parties a lot of time and heartache.
Other times, things last for years, only to fall apart in the end. Time and effort
invested seemingly wasted on the wrong partner.
What is the formula? Some people simply say, "You just know." Well, I knew this
at least four times already, so that doesn't work. Others say, "If you're compatible,
then it's meant to be." I have met girls that really make sense on paper, but we
simply do better as friends. Plus, who really wants to date themselves, anyway?
To make a long story short, I never really figured it out.
So, now you're married. The first couple of years are great. Move in together, make love
every night, go out on romantic getaways... life is good. Five years pass, the kids are
driving "mom" nuts, bills are pilling up, and "dad" is never home at a
decent hour. What happened here? This seems to be a very common scenario. And that scares
me!
I see couples, from outside anyway, that look like they were really meant to be together.
Both good looking, successful, have the same dreams, and yet, the guy cheats, the girl
cheats and the kids take drugs. It's such a sad sight and yet so prevalent in today's
society. I wonder why they even bothered to marry. They could have just slept with each
other in hotels, used birth control and just plain saved a whole lot of trouble for a lot
of people. Do they blame the societal pressures? Maybe in this country it is more
important to look presentable than to actually "be" presentable. I guess they
think it's better to be married because it's the "right" thing to do. Must be
really terrible for a woman to sleep with a man out of wed-lock (yah right! Like guys
would complain!).
What I think is that some couples shouldn't have been married in the first place. If only
they would have been more honest about the situation they were in, maybe they would have
realized that they were about to make a terrible mistake.
I do understand about the pressures that society bestows upon us. As a matter of fact, I
battle with these forces on a daily basis. It makes it difficult to do the right thing as
opposed to doing what looks right.
With guys, I know that there is peer pressure. Because of it, we act as if we never fell
in love, cried after a sad movie or even just been vulnerable to anyone. That's the
"guy" thing to do... it's called denial.
Women, have to be "proper" in their ways. They must dress right, walk right,
speak correctly and never show that they ever get "horny"! It just wouldn't
"look" right. What would people say?
With thinking like this, it's no wonder why we have so many failed marriages,
psychologically traumatized children and just plain unhappy people. We have forgotten what
really matters in life. Our minds are cluttered with an incredible amount of
"useless" and incorrect information about what is important in a relationship.
We worry about things that, in the end, don't add up to anything of value. And, why?
Because our society dictates it to us. The same society that we have created for ourselves
to avoid this flavor of mayhem.
It's truly amazing to me! Human beings must really be the kings of this planet... we are
the only creatures that are capable of this insanity.
I think we should just all go home and kiss our significant others and hold them close,
while thinking about what first brought us together with them. Then, try to hold that
feeling inside us as we battle the forces of non-sense that we encounter in our day. To
quote a famous slogan (from a beverage commercial, no less), "Mag-pakatotoo ka!"
(Get real!) And just maybe, we can all live a good life.
Good morning RCMA. |
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